#but AS LONG AS its not the evening of the 9th then im FINE

[you-are-constance]

i need to stop saying yes to things on monday evenings.

[rorys-letters]

Entry 1 !!

I wanted to start making a Digital diary so this is it!!! it was supposed to be a daily thing but whateverr

This is rly long so sorry abt that </3

cw: talk of sh, depression, su1cidal thoughts

i though i would do these entries like daily and its the tenth so i guess not but even so i thin its better this way, its less pressure yk. Anyways it has been ROUGH out here it rly is a struggle but whateverrr.I don't really know how i'm supposed to do this but i gues ill figure it out eventually. okay so i've been trying to get clean for like at least four-ish months i think, and its been so hard and ive always known it was a problem but yk with addiction yo always think you have it under control, even when you don't and I think i realised it was a genuine problem not bc it was sh but bc i couldnt stop for a day and i think that like woke me up kinda, and two weeks ago i was on winter break right and it was so lonley and i hated it soo much bc it was busy and i felt useless as if i hadn't been in an episode since decemeber, and on new years it was like as bed as it gets usually, and i felt like that until like the 3rd or 4th, and obviously i sh bc how else am i gonna cope if i wasn't getting clean, then on the 5th i guess things were really put into perspective and i tried to get clean like properly, and every single time i try to do that its always hardest in the first 3 days-ish, then it gets easier, then harder again depending on period, naturally i relapsed on the 7th, and since then its been hard again, bc im trying so hard not to and it makes me feel ugly and i hate it when people see them because it always gets so awkward, esp worse if don't know them bc the last thing i need is for another person to know, i think i've only told like 4 people about it and i only talk to two of them regularly, not even about sh, or anything abt my depression which isn't healthy ik but what's a girl to do if she's emotionally avoidant. Anyway i had a close call on the 9th and I'm really scared she saw the c*ts bc thats not fun even though i'd been trying to minimise scarring which worked pretty well since they're quite faint for 1 week but at the time they were still scabbed. And now that they're faint I can't help byt want to cut again. and it feels so useless staying clean bc I'm almost always reliant on something to self-medicated, sometimes I stop eating, sometimes i sh, and sometimes i drink rly obscene amounts of caffeine, and if im not doing any of those consistently im stuck in an episode which i am in one anyway but they make it easier yk. I think recently I've been really sensitive, more so than usual, my mom told me to wake up and i started crying about how badly i wanted to sleep, even though I know that she means well, and my english teacher said something about how relying on something to help you feel better (it was like shopping addictions an whatnot) makes the person week, which only made me feel worse because I'm trying SO HARD just to be normal, and not do something so basic and its so hard and saying something alot less worse than sh is weak then what is sh to her, obviously i wouldn't confind in her but knowing that someone could see me as weak is like gut-wrenching in a sense and i'm not quite sure why.

i started hating talking to ppl and week-ends make me feel worse about everything, my grades are fine but i know they could be better, and it reminds me of how i've had people tell me i have so much potential (around december while i was in an episode) and i was doing so bad mentally at the time it only made me feel worse, because i don't need you telling me i've got so much potential if you don't even know how hard everything feels, let alone know how much I want to die but 'm still dong work, and passing classes. I think at the time I would always think about how much I needed to be dead, and by the week before the break i didn't think i'd reach the end of it, by the beginning of the break I was convinced I wouldn't make it to new-years, then I didn't think i'd make it to attend school, and i felt so ashamed when i came back because how am i supposed to tell my teachers that i was so su1cidal i didn't think it would matter if i did my homeworks, and i sometimes wish i told them that, it would make so many things easier, I wouldn't have to tell my mom that i want to die because that's just cruel, i wouldn't have to tell my friends bout it, and maybe school work would get easier.

When it gets bad like this. i always watch "It's Kind of a Funny Story" because I feel i need to be locked-up, like the thoughts are so consuming I can't take it, even if i'm not institutionalised i need to be medicated i don't care about side-effects, i don't care about reliance, sh is sm worse than controlled meds, and the worst part is my psychiatrist might have been genuinely considering giving me anti-depressants, but my mom is worried about the side-effects. I stopped going to her because i dreaded it so much, it only made me feel worse because we never really talked how i wanted, i was scared yes, but i think it could've gone so much better if she focused on the depression side, bc she said i had mdd (clinical depression) and gad (anxiety), but she only focused on the gad part of it, and she had me see why my thoughts are irrational, but i knew that they were, i knew that they weren't true my problem is that i wanted to k1ill myself. whatever

I think something that scares me a lot is the effects of prolonged depression on the brain, i think knowing what happens chemically helps me understand better but i only end up feeling worse, i know that memory is heavily impacted, and i've been so scared of forgetting, but i already did, i couldn't tell you what happened most of my life, i just can't remember a lot, and i don't remember well anymore, it takes so much longer and it makes it so much harder to keep up.

I also read that it impacts neural connections, like how neurons work to connect to each other in the brain, which is essentially like critical thinking and making connections to new ideas, and i find that really scary, like r u seriously telling me i'm so depressed i physically can't think right? what the hell!

Also I think i feel really guilty for being depressed because i don't know why i am, i know i have no reason to be and i'm so thankful for the life i have, i guess i just don't know why i'm not dead, like this isn't me but i'm alive and i feel like i'm useless, i'm not helping anyone by being here and i don';t want to be here either so why can't i go?

A lot of the time when i feel like this i listen to Part of the Band by the 1975 and i don't know why but it helps me feel something, sometimes i feel worse and other times better, but i just watched it and its a mix of both, sometimes i wish i wasn't so messed up for no reason. I feel like i'm rotting from the inside out, im decaying infornt of my own eyes and no one can do anything about it, not even myself, especially not myself. It feels futile trying to get better because i have nothing to live for, i don't even know what i'm saying anymore. I', just so tired all the time, and im so pissy its frustrating and unfair of me because people only want to help and i hate taht i won't let them, even when it's what i want most. I'm so like lethargic at this point and it can't be normal. I think what i hate most is people not taking me seriously, or misunderstanding me, it makes it harder for me to reach out. and i feel like i lost all of my communication skills because i feel so much and i just can't articulate it, i don't know if it's me deteriorating or if these feelings are indescribable. I really hope writing this make it easier, i just might but i don't know anymore.

jan 10 2025

-rory

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

My cousin is supposed to be staying with us this weekend

She was supposed to be here earlier (she wouldve gotten here yesterday night if she hadn't stopped to get a hotel)

Shes being super dodgy about where she is and how long she's gonna be

She only gave us like 3 days notice that she was gonna be coming up here

Shes been texting my mom this whole time but now my parents have gone to bed cuz my dad is Routine Oriented™️ and Must be in bed by 9pm (preferably by 8 but he stretched it to almost 9 today just in case she showed up)

I am no longer in People Mode

So im just sitting here hoping she hasnt been like murdered or some shit but also hoping that if she's ok she goes to grandmas house to sleep on her couch instead cuz I dont wanna deal with getting her settled in this late

This is ME Time

I want to CHILL

I havent been able to chill all day

I couldnt fall asleep last night cuz of Anticipation but also my allergies were really bad so I couldn't breathe out of my nose so i didn't fall asleep til after 5am

I woke up at like 10am and had to clean the bathtub because we're having company (supposedly) and thats one of my TWO cleaning jobs (not counting keeping my room clean) and I was really proud of myself cuz I managed to get out of bed as soon as I woke up and got the tub cleaned

Then my dads cousin was over and chewby hates him so I was having to babysit a grumbly pitbull and try to keep her calm since my dad doesn't WARN me when Brad is gonna be here so I can't actually work with her on being chill around him

Then when me and my mom got back from the store dipshit was over here hanging out with my dad even tho my dad helped his wife leave him????? Like bro why do you think we want you here???

Then I took althea to get food for the week and lawrence is fucking stupid when it comes to planning roadwork. 6th street is a fucking mess. Getting to just food was fine cuz 7th street is alright until Kentucky street. But on the way back I took 9th street like I did last week to get back to Michigan street but Michigan street was CLOSED between 9th and 7th so then I had to turn around and go back to Maine street to get back to 7th street to get back to Michigan street. And there was so much fucking traffic cuz its the middle of the semester and yeah its spring break but its also the Friday at the end of spring break so people are starting to come back so there's like twice as many people as there would be if it was summer break.

Then I got home and dipshit was still here AND STAYED HERE FOR HOURS til my dad and Mike bribed the neighbors kid with weed (shes 18 and we're friends with her mom) to take him and his dog to a hotel cuz his (hopefully soon to be ex) wife is selling the house and kicked his ass out so he's effectively homeless now (he fucked around and found out. He's got a bus to somewhere next Wednesday. Hopefully not to where his wife is. Bobbi says she is living her best life now that she's back home with her parents and all her friends)

Like I have had a fucking day dealing with people and I do not have the patience to deal with getting my cousin settled at almost midnight. I am fried. I want to sit in my dark room with a bowl of yogurt with chocolate granola and raspberries and snuggle with my cat and watch horror game playthroughs on youtube until im ready to go to bed

[willowplantcat]

letsa fuckin go :3

1.- probably my legos i have one of a tree i really love and one of an octopus and shark :3

2.- im pretty comfy being 167 tho it wouldnt be bad to be 165

3.- dark brown looks sometimes black

4.- i dont really know ig being bald is a fear

5.- :3c

6.- yes (not current partner tho they are nice :3)

7.- reading and legos

8.- mmm ig hiding and lisening to music, wheb im anxious i tent to want to be alone or with people i really trust

9.- physical and gifts i love giving hugs and gifts

10.- a lot

11.- maybe, depends on the rules and if they backfire

12.- i know two (spanish and english) but knowing japanese would maybe be nice or indonesian cause i got a friend there

13.- idk really, ig near a beach but what i want the most is being with those i love :3 (sounds cheesy but like :p)

14.- dont really know

15.- like uhh 30 mins ago

16.- around the 9th of june this year

17.- no thank u :3

18.- i dont really remember dreams tbh, but i do dream a lot about goinf on dates with my partner, being cat and meeting book/videogame characters

19.-MARINE BIOLOGIST MARINE BIOLOGIST

20.- mmm idk ig just hanging out watching stars

21.- a lot tbh probably just being more organized so i dont feel like shit for not doin stuff

22.- really, again as long as u get to see my friends (and not be hunted due to race and sexuality) im fine :3

23.- cant choose tbh but i do love my friends (even if sometimes we dont talk much)

24.- YUP... (Wish i could forget it)

25.- day of the dead due being a cool part of my culture and i get to remember my great grandma who i miss :3 and christmas cause i get to eat stuff :3

26.- yes but i wouldnt really like to remeber it

27.- one i made of Ms. Fortune (from skullgirls) last year ;3

28.- Math and biology :3, and im good at cookin and a lil bit at drawing

29.-ye

30.-nop :3

31.- does global warming get fixed and when does capitalism die

32.- uhh probably if someone is like into crypto and stuff like that, or they feel like they judge people a lot, wouldnt really like to be friends with someone who is like that

33.- dont really know

34.- three (tho my current partner is honeslty the best one ive had they are a great friend and a great partner)

35.- every time i shower

36.- a lot, idk mostly about i have to do, or ideas for drawings, ocs nd stories(forget them a lot tho)

37.- my room or just wander around my house

38.- never met my dad so mom it is

39.- i try not judge others (much) and to suport them and make them feel loved and worthy

40.- idk tbh but friend voices are nice, tho anyone voice is great (unless its loud, loud noises scare me even of they are nice)

41.- "yall should be nicer and pls stop with the wars, if no one has a military budget then yall cant attack eachother"

42.- a lot tbh, me better at drawing do more chores around my house, read more, and idk hangout with friends irl more

43.- lots of stuff, but hey all my desitionshave let me to here and while i wish i could do better right now im also kinda content

44.-ye

45.- BOOK

46.- fall, or any rainy season

47.- idk tbh

48.- i used to but my dog bit most of them, they were: a deer named "venadito" a polar bear named "teddie" a lil angel named "angelito" a minecraft ocelote named "ocelote(in spanish)" and a baby snow leopard named "simba"

49.- idk tbh dont like to dwell much on bad expiriences specially if i cant learn from them

50.- (HALFWAY :3) Idk but ig a lot of micro transactions on pvz when i was younger

51.-yes :3

52.- PJO PJO PJO PJO!!!!

53.- i dont really hate anyone tbh i mostly dislike with people that are mean to friends, but even then i can still sympatice with them

54.- idk :p

55.-Deltarun, stardew valley, celeste and hollow knight :3 (i love undertale but its kimds overshined by these)

56.- when i feel cornered or like i made someone mad at me

57.- Eh not really but i do sometimes wake up feelin nice :3

58.- i think so

59.- a lot tbh, tho i do sometimes wish i still felt like i was responsable and smarter

60.-ye

61.- not really

62.- any "here is an ad that is nothing like the game" game and garten of banban but even then itsa bit of a guilty pleasure over how bad it is

63.- i watch him form time to tiem he is very cool (cant wait for his iron lung movie tbh)

64.- a dumb smile, blushing, and somes a bit of crying if they really touch me

65.- id they are nice and passionate (also if they can step on me)

66.- ye

67.- my partner :3

68.-ye

69.- nope never will

70.- idk tbh :p bur huntlow is one of my favs (not my fav but its up there)

71.- idk tbh but mona lisa my mxtoons is nice

72.- NO (fuck loud noises)

73.- i hope not

74.- 99% of the time is like i was dead cause i cant feel anything and barely anythim wakes me up the other 1% is filled with dread

75.- when im nervous

76.- no :p

77.-yup 3 doggies

78.- brown (people tell me i have sluty eyes idk what that means tbh)

79.- be more responsible and less anxious

80.- ye i had my appendix removed :p

81.- not really i dont like most bugs tho

82.- being responsible and doing chores

83.- nop

84.- yeah borgers are nice, but only form time to time

85.- no..

86.- uhhh 5th semester in highschool

87.-not really

88.- tumblr discord instagram

89.- uh dont remeber but i think its 7

90.- 4 am

91.- i have some ig my hair is kinda puffy

92.- skibidy toiltet and honesly any "haha xd banban huggy epic troll poop minecraft adventure" thing

93.- HOODIES

94.- YE

95.- its pretty on others, dont really like it on myself tho makes me feel bad

96.- why would anyone hate a specific time

97.- people do that? Huh guess you learn somethin new every day

98.- standard

99.- yeah it sucks i mostly fell alseep tbh

100.- yup am bisexual gendefluid and a cat :p

ask game

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

2. how tall do you wish you were?

3. what color is your hair?

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

5. are you single?

6. has your heart ever been broken?

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

8. favorite coping mechanism?

9. whats your favorite love language?

10. how often do you get nervous?

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

13. where do you wish to live?

14. what’s something surprising about you?

15. when did you last shower?

16. when did you first join tumblr?

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

19. whats your dream job?

20. whats your ideal date?

21. what do you wish you could do better?

22. what country would you live in if you could?

23. whos the best person you know?

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?

25. whats your favorite holiday?

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

28. what are you best at?

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

30. do you have siblings?

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

33. whats your favorite current class?

34. how many people have you dated?

35. how often do you wash your hair?

36. do you daydream? what about?

37. where do you go to be alone?

38. which parent do you like more?

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

43. what do you wish you never did?

44. do you believe in life after death?

45. do you prefer book over movie?

46. whats your favorite season?

47. whats your favorite time of day

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

51. do you have your own room?

52. whats your favorite book?

53. who’s someone you hate?

54. whats your best hottake?

55. whats your favorite game?

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

57. are you a morning person?

58. do you drink enough water?

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

62. whats your least favorite game?

63. were you a markiplier fan?

64. how do you respond to compliments?

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

66. do you believe in marriage?

67. do you have a crush on someone?

68. do you like tumblr?

69. were you a voltron stan?

70. whats your favorite ship?

71. whats your favorite song?

72. do you like loud crowds?

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

74. how do you sleep?

75. do you bite your lips?

76. do you use chapstick?

77. do you have any pets?

78. what color are your eyes?

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

80. have you ever had surgery?

81. whats your least favorite animal?

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

83. do you have an sqishmellows?

84. do you enjoy fast food?

85. do you like soda?

86. what grade are you in?

87. do you wear any jewelry?

88. what socials do you use?

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

91. did you ever have bangs?

92. what trends did you hate?

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

94. do you like dinosaurs?

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

96. whats your least favorite time?

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

99. have you ever been to church?

100. are you lgbtq?

[clacing]

The way I was counting down the days when u finished the book shsjsksk when that email notification came I was 🏃‍♀️ like im sorry I was excited but no ur so right.

[Light Spoilers(?)]

The book is totally incomprehensible especially when you get to the part where they're driving the bus, the way the narration switches up is hard to keep up with. Especially given how we are going from Nona's POV to about three of Nona's POV and then we snap back and just don't question that part like???

But I don’t have much to say rn because you're still processing the book and like talking about how Nona is a soup of about three and a half souls and the implication of a Percect Lyctor and the whole of John's chapters, it's all just mush until you kind of crawl through each point.

If you want like a super boiled down explanation of the book; imo it's a book meant to juxtapose Nona and who her original body is. The John chapters go into a fair amount of detail on how the series has gotten to this point(in as much as we can trust John about anything)

But like I'm so very interested in Anastasia and her connection with the 9th house and the relationship she seems to have had with The Body, given what we hear her say about Anastasia during that chapter.

Which like also goes into how Harrow is compared to Anastasia by Mercy(a less attractive Anastasia) and why Harrow and the 9th house specifically has such a nuanced relationship with the Body and the Locked Tomb.

I'm jumping around walls, I'm literally so in love with this book rn I just want to blab about it 😭

DAMN that was quick lmao No you're right the truck part is absolutely when I went from "I don't understand anything that's happening, but that's okay, I will eventually" to "Not only did I not understand anything that happened this far but it's probably only going to get worse" like I was so confused about the dynamics within BoE and the conflict Antioch had with God and the blue madness.... literally what

Having Nona as a narrator was interesting but also exhausting 'cause she also doesn't understand anything in a very different way than Gideon didn't understand anything in GTN or Harrow in HTN. 'Cause she literally doesn't know anything about anything. When they get to the Ninth she talks about stepping in a cage with bars and the floors flying up around them and I nearly had an aneurysm just trying to figure out that she was describing an elevator. And the whole book is like that 😭 I appreciate Muir's dedication to "Show, don't tell" but sometimes.... telling is just fine.....

The alternating chapters were a masterpiece though like how every piece of the story John told brought you one step closer to understanding who Nona was and sometimes paralleling her side of the story. I was so into it I could not stop reading for 7 whole hours on the train

(Also help who are the three and a half souls you're talking about.... I thought it was "just" Earth but I've since been informed that Harrow has consumed part of Gideon's soul so that's the half.... who are the other two.... Harrow and Anastasia?)

And about Harrow and The Body.... I'm so curious what the whole deal is. I don't know if I missed something but like. Alecto's soul was inside her all along somehow, right? And also. ALSO. is Harrow's love for The Body just the result of part of her soul longing for its original body. And that's why once Alecto is back in her body and she kisses Harrow Harrow isn't pleased about it. I literally realized this right now as I was typing 'cause while reading I was so convinced THIS line:

was foreshadowing that "Harrow was Alecto all along and that's why she loves The Body so much" but actually that works even if Alecto is only part of her soul. And the fact that the spirit of the literal Earth (or at least the part of it that John couldn't consume) was just chilling inside her... no wonder Harrow was so powerful and also very mentally unstable

[anninhiliation]

@chrisdiels-babygirl posted this photo 👇

And an idea came into my head and idk why but shut the fuck up and hear me out 💫

18+ tinkies

Also dont copy my work unless you want me to cause problems with you and shame you. Oh and changing the main character is still copying you rat.

So you and Chris got into a quarrel in the morning, and both of you are too stubborn and too annoyed with the other to apologize first. Or even talk it out, both too heated in the argument that the topic still burns your skin. You've been practically dodging him all day and he's been avoiding being alone with you all day. But as the day ends, promos come to a close, its time to go home. Pulling out your phone you go to dial an uber to take you back to your apartment but Chris stops you.

"Nena enserió? Tú apartamento está casi baseo."

He has a point, with only a few days left in your lease majority of your things are in his place.

"¿Y? Hay una cama" you shoot back.

That is true, your bedroom still has the mattress a few pillows and some blankets. But you're too stubborn, too prideful to continue the argument you so deeply believe you're right in.

"Nena" he sighs clearly tired of this "dale lets just go home...together"

You clench your jaw as you look up at him and sigh out a fine. Turning your screen off, you walk out the doors with him waving a good bye to the crew.

The car ride is silent. His eyes locked on the road, both hands on the wheel, occasionally one hand moving to the control stick. It's foreign to you, his hand usually touching your left thigh, usually the car fills with sounds of laughter. But you look away from him, seeing the city through the shotgun window. A 10 minute drive feels like an hour. The tension building with every passing silent second. As soon as Chris parks the car you beeline towards the lobby and elevators. It doesnt take long for Chris to catch up. His longer steps and taller frame gives him the advantage. You feel Chris's eyes glued to the back of your head, only annoying you more.

"I'm taking the stairs" you mumble as the wait for the elevator seems never ending.

His apartment is on the 9th floor, making him completely smirk and cock an eyebrow up at you. He’s amused at how you certain you are of avoiding him even after all this time. As the elevator comes Chris steps in as you make your way up the never ending stair case. 

Youre practically out of breath as you reach the third floor. Leaning against the wall catching your breath, you hear one of the doors above you open, but think nothing of it as you make your way up yet another flight of stairs. You stop dead in your tracks as you look up and see none other than Chris waiting for you at the top of the stairs. His poker face is unreadable as he cocks an eyebrow up at you. 

“Nena you are so stubborn.” 

You roll your eyes as you make your way up the stairs ready to push past him. But his hand quickly grabs your wrist.

“Mi amor look at me.” He’s clearly tired of the fight.

You turn around and look up at him. His big soft brown eyes looking into yours making your anger slowly wash away. His grip on your wrist fades away as he wraps his fingers around your waist. 

so anyways my back hurts and im sleepy but he fucks you on the stairs and just picture his chain dangaling, hitting your flesh. Him hitting the sweetest spot as he rearranges your organs. You searching for something to grab onto for this ride but theres nothing really but the stairs themselves. And lets not be ridiculous you’re getting one load inside you now, then getting that fucked out of you later in the bed where he can properly destory you. then soft cuddles and little kisthes insert the sub emoji okay good night besos. 

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[livisart]

oh my god you guys, the new COPPA thing will NOT help children ffs

listen i care a lot about kids safety online, as someone who’s had. very bad experiences on the internet when i was younger, i get it ok. i get it.

but the whole new COPPA thing will not only hurt creators, but will also do more harm than good in helping to keep kids safe.

i see a lot of people painting the FTC as 100% reasonable and youtube as 100% at fault (or conversely, youtube as innocent martyrs and the FTC as evil), personally, i think both the FTC and youtube are at fault here. its reasonable for the FTC to be concerned, but theyre trying to implement laws abt things they dont know anything about, and meanwhile youtube is trying to “solve” this in the worst possible way.

yall are gonna be big mad at me for saying this but. children seeing personalized ads do not hurt them any more than they do adults. let me explain.

(note: before i say anything more i wanna get this out of the way: whether youtube collecting data for ads AT ALL, is bad is a discussion for another day, it’s NOT what we should be focusing on right now, so i will not bring it up in this post)

youtube obviously does not collect this data in the youtube kids app, cuz it’s explicitly made for kids. this is an issue regarding youtube main, specifically, kids under 13 using their parents accounts to watch videos (as a sidenote, the whole thing the FTC were concerned about seems to be youtube collecting data WITHOUT PARENTAL CONSENT, but parents allowing their kids to use youtube main sounds a lot like consent to me. honestly i might b wrong abt this but to me it seems like the easiest way for youtube to solve this problem would be to add smth in their tos abt the data collected and how letting any1 under 13 use the main site = consent to collecting their data, but i digress.)

this means that any information collected is NOT the kids information, but the parents, since the child is using their account. there is absolutely no way to tell if a child or an adult is using the account, hence why youtube is going after “”kids content”” and assuming EVERYONE who watches “”kids content”” is a child (remember that this doesnt only affect like peppa pig episodes and kids nursery rhymes and stuff, but ANY content that youtube n the FTCs vague rules consider ‘for kids’. with that in mind, hopefully i dont have to explain how stupid that is)

lemme repeat there is functionally ABSOLUTELY NO WAY to tell that a child is watching rather than an adult.

there’s also the fact that creators/users on youtube have absolutely no way of accessing the information collected, all we get is vague things like age range, gender, country. we do not get ANY information that’d let us see individual users data, let alone use it to contact them.

but basically, kids information is NOT being gathered, youtube kids does not gather this information, and youtube main gathers the information of the PARENTS, not the kids. so basically, this is a non-issue, and going through with these new regulations to “solve” this non-issue is dumb and jsut hurts EVERYONE.

now, here’s why i believe this will actually do more harm than good:

videos marked as “kids content” will not have personalized ads, meaning their ad revenue will drop with anything from 60-90%

also videos with this marking will not have comments, not be added to any playlists, etc. basically they’ll have less visibility and have a harder time being discovered.

big corporations will find a way to deal with this but smaller kids content creators won’t. many ppl who made content for kids will be forced to quit, since it’s just not sustainable anymore, meaning there’ll be a decrease in quality content for kids to watch.

but it gets worse. since these new rules will also affect “child attractive content”, this will actually give creators incentive to create more mature content to avoid the dreaded “made for kids” checkbox. especially considering any violations of this extremely vague rule can result in a 42k fine PER VIDEO. no one wants that.

so to make sure youtube and the FTC will not consider their content “for kids”, many channels that were previously child friendly (though not directly aimed at children) will start deliberately making their content more mature to alienate kids.

so with actual kids content decreasing, and child friendly content being replaced by more mature content, there’ll be MUCH LESS quality stuff for kids to watch, possibly leading them to watch the new mature content instead, so kids are just gonna risk seeing more stuff that’s harmful to them (with the same personalized ads that were the god damn problem to begin with so like good job on not solving anything)

basically this change will harm creators AND kids and not really help anyone in the long run

now, again i think the FTC and youtube are both at fault here.

youtube because they suck and can’t come up with any better solution.

the FTC because they’re trying to pass laws they know zero about. (seriously. a youtuber n former lawyer went to DC to talk to them abt the new rules and it turns out the FTC are soooo misinformed abt this it aint even funny)

and i’m very tired of people with negative braincells acting like this change is going to help kids at all.

it’s also actually kind of dangerous that ppl are saying “go tell youtube to change things, not the FTC”, because youtube doesn’t listen to ppl.  i thought that much would be apparent by now. youtube does not care abt its userbase.

the FTC, however, does and is willing to take ppls comments til like december 9th so pls go send them a comment.

im not saying you shouldnt blame youtube at all, or ask them to change, but dont just ignore the FTC’s role in this pls.

[cloudslou]

so @cent-rue-xvii tagged me to answer these few questions :D

1. nickname? cade!! thats a nickname!!! i gave it 2 myself in 9th grade

2. zodiac? taurus

3. height? 5 feet tall!!

4. last thing you googled? uhh yesterday i googled that new york times quiz that has u guess ppl’s political party based on their fridge

5. song stuck in your head? actually nothing rn but i did listen to 1d on my walk so maybe one of those later

6. number of followers? 713 on this blog

7. amount of sleep? ive been sleeping a lot so like 8 hours recently??

8. lucky number? 13!!!!!

9. favorite song? like of all time? long live by taylor

10. favorite instrument? i dont even know how to answer this but bass i guess

11. dream job? oh i have no idea. like professional person-who-pets-cats?

12. aesthetic? aesthetics r fake but i like green and pink so. stuff w those.

13. favorite author? i dont have one soz. actually its myself please go read my fic.

14. favorite animal noise? these questions r hard and make no sense. i like when my cat makes sounds.

15. random: i have peppermint tea next to me rn! peppermint is my fav tea

16. how it started: similar 2 vee i dont understand the question so im gonna answer how my year started. i listened to two songs and then went to bed!!!

17. how it’s going: good!!! i have cramps rn but in general. its fine. im excited to go back to my apartment soon!! i miss my roommate.

gotta tag 17 people: i will not be doing that i dont even know 17 ppl so uhh @voulezloux @lt2soon @fearlesslouist @bluebandana @stanwalls @zaynsatisfaction :DD no pressure to do this obvs

[dearlinong]

by your side ; wang ziyi

[hi ! is it okay if i request a scenario where wang ziyi is a mentor for a show you are in and its the final stage and you narrowly miss debuting with the rest of the group. he comforts you but everyone knows you both have a crush on each other? mentor au i guess,,, from a mentor or a lover?? im not sure where i was going with this, sorry if its a bit weird... thank you so much !!]

(a/n: girl holy shit i forgot that i had this in my draft and didn’t finish it wtf. i literally forgot how to do this ;-;. so.. uhm... I MISS YOU GUYS LIKE SO MUCH!! hope you guys are staying safe and staying inside your homes. i’m just clearing off all my requests and once i’m done i can continue making requests again :>. so yeah, pls tell me how guys have been doing in my ask box! so there hope you enjoy this one <3)

genre: angst plus floof

requested: YUP!! omg 2 years in the making kjnKJNAJKDNSKAJDN and sorry if it was all over the place :<

you were currently competing in the 2nd season of idol producer

and you were one of the top competitors

you’ve ben voted as top 1 for multiple times now

and not only was it because of your talent

but you think that it was also because of your friendship with ziyi (which is is bad guys lol vote contestants bc of their talent okay)

yes, you’re friends with the very famous wang ziyi

who was also one of the rap mentors in the said show

actually you two go way back

you two have been friends even before he got into simply joy music

you two were trainees for a company called faded ent

and you two were supposed to debut as a co-ed group

so you two would practice all day and all night just to perfect the dances, singing and rap you had to do

and even after those long and tiring practices you two still had time to hang out with each other

you gotta admit, those were the times that you started developing a crush on him

so when the day he told you that he was leaving the company it was basically your own personal apocalypse

not only did you lose ziyi

but you lost your chance to debut which was on the tip of your fingers at that time

so you tried your luck this time by asking your company to let you join the new season of idol producer

and to your surprise you were doing better than what you expected

as the weeks go by, you and ziyi have been catching up on each other’s lives

but only when you and him have overlapping free time which is a 5 minute break once every week, so that’s not a lot of time

and because of your closeness with him, people have been saying that he has this massive crush on you, which you totally ignored and didn’t believe

and if they were true you’d still ignore it because you were here to compete and debut, not to find love

it was currently the last week in idol producer

while all of the other trainees were fast asleep

you in particular could not sleep for some unknown reason

and what better way to tire yourself than to practice some more

so you got up and walked towards the practice rooms

you first checked if all the staffs were gone, and when they were all gone you entered the room and started practicing the dance routine for the upcoming final episode as you were still in need of some practice

20 minutes into your practicing and you hear some footsteps walking towards the practice rooms, specifically the practice room that you were in

behind the piano was a good place to hide, so you did

as the person entered the room you peeped your hear out so you could have a look at who it was

you were surprised to see that it was ziyi who entered

you were wondering why he was still in the dorms as all the mentors were supposed to be out with the other mentors

so you went out of your hiding spot

ziyi jumped in surprise as he saw you come out

“y/n? why are you here?” he asked 

“i was just practicing, but i’ll head out now, bye.” you said while rushing to head out of the room

but then he caught your wrist which made you stop

“hey, can’t you stay for a while. i really want to spend more time with you. please stay.” he said while smiling softly

you really couldn’t say ‘no’ to a guy like ziyi, so you agreed to stay with him

“so how’ve you been these past few weeks?”

“pretty good actually, but this week in particular was really draining for me and the other trainees.”

you two then eventually became comfortable with each other, like the good ol’ days

after a while you checked the clock to look at what time it was, it was almost 1 in the morning and you had to wake up early to teach the other trainees the dance for the final stage

“hey it’s getting late, better get going now.” you were about to stand up but then ziyi got your hands which stopped you from doing so

“thank you for staying with me y/n, i really miss spending time with you. i hope we can do this more often.” after saying that last word he was leaning in and getting closer to your face

he then pressed his lips to yours

you wanted to savor the moment, but a part of you says that what you’re doing is wrong

so you quickly parted with his lips and stood up

“i’m sorry ziyi, t-this just isn’t right. i have a future ahead of me, and so do you. i don’t want this to be the reason for us to fail in the future. goodbye.” after you bowed you left without even turning back

for the whole week you only thought about that moment

there were times when you couldn’t even sleep just because it was in your head

the day of the final episode has come and you’ve prepared for it since before you entered this show even

okay so this is the part where i transition from 2018 to 2020 bc im a dumb bitch and forgot to finish the au back in 2018

ok back 2 the fic

bc you already know that anything can happen during the span of these 3+ hours

the last time you checked you were still the reigning #1

and because of that you were really anxious about everything that’s gonna happen

before everything starts you guys practiced for the last time and got your last messages from the trainers

and while they were leaving ziyi handed you a small note which made all 20 trainees go BONKERS

“YIEE I KNEW THAT HE LIKED YOU!”

“I KNOW HE’S MY BIAS BUT WHAT THE HECK YOU TWO WOULD BE CUTE TOGETHER”

you became so flustered after all of them started teasing you

“YAH! Y’ALL STOP! if you guys don’t stop i won’t share my remaining facial cleanser!”

deadass everybody went silent JASNXANSDJ

and while everyone was leaving the hall you stayed behind so that you could read the note he gave you in private

it read

“i know what i did a few days ago really surprised you which made you say those words. but i know in my heart that what happened to us was right, but since you asked for it, fine i won’t bother you for now. just remember that i love you and i’m always supporting you, jiayou! with love, ziyi”

ff to the live show

the whole live show was a blur to you because you were too nervous for the final ranking

you were center for your team tho!

everyone AND I MEAN EVERYONE SCREAMED WHEN YOU WERE INTRODUCED AS CENTER

BC HELLO

YOU WERE PERFECT TO BE THE CENTER

ANYWAYS NOW ONTO THE MOMENT WE HAVE ALL BEEN DREADING

THE

FINAL

RANKING

DUN DUN DUUUUUUN

you saw some of the people you hoped to be in the final group got called and you couldn’t be happier

but sadly some of them weren’t

it’s now time to call on the prospected 1st and 2nd ranks

your anxiety levels are OFF THE CHARTS NOW as you haven’t been called yet

you were hoping to all the gods that you would turn out to be the 1st pick

or even 2nd place

but to everyones horror

your face wasn’t shown on the LED screen

which means you weren’t gonna be selected as the 1st or 2nd rank

you heard both people from the audience and from your fellow trainees a collective

“WHAT!?!?!?!?”

at this point you didn’t know what to do anymore

you felt numbness in your body

you can’t cry yet because there is still hope for the 9th place

and then it hit you

‘OH YEAH’

‘9TH PLACE’

so again with all the praying to every god thing

and then

BOOM

the 4 faces were shown on the LED screen

and luckily you were there

the PD then one by one started to announce the trainees on the screens ranks

for 12th place

it wasn’t you

for 11th place it wasn’t you either

this is it you were either in or out

you and the other trainee held hands just to relieve you both from the pressure

and then

the PD finally says the ranking

“the 9th pick is...”

“yuehua entertainment’s xi jiamo!”

that was it

all your hard work

gone

of course you were so happy for your fellow trainee

but you still have to think of yourself as well

you were then asked to give a final message

you were still in shock and didn’t know what to say yet

but you stood there and just said anything that came across your brain

“ohh, honestly i’m just so very thankful to everyone who supported me through this journey. and for every single trainee that has given me nothing but love i hope i can repay you guys some day. let’s all remember that this is not the end of our journey rather it is a stepping stone for us in order to succeed in the future. and to our dear mentors”

the audience and the trainees went wild

EVEN SOME OF THE OTHER MENTORS TOO

“i’m just very thankful that we had the opportunity to be guided by all of you, and we promise to always keep in mind everything you taught us. once again thank you for letting me stand on this stage. i will never forget this experience. thank you everyone” and then you bowed for a very long time

after the whole program all of the trainees went to the stage to congratulate the final group

but almost all of them went to you

the trainees started to flock your area and shower you with nothing but love and support

you even heard the crowd chant your name

which made you cry even more

“YAAAH! Y/N JIE I OVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!”

“Y/N JIE I’M SORRY FOR TAKING YOUR SPOT!” jiamo said to you

so you had to tell her that its not her fault and she should think that way

if she thinks that way again you told her that you would be so disappointed

the staff now asked everyone to vacate the stage and go backstage

little did you know

ziyi was there waiting for you

you didn’t want to talk to him yet but the trainees insisted that you do

so they left for you two to have some privacy

once you two were alone there was nothing but silence

but he went in for a hug

which you really needed right now

a hug from one of the people that you love the most

while you two were hugging ziyi said something to you

“i know this is a really hard time for you and i just want you to know that i’ll always be by your side from now on. i’ve lost you the first time now i will never let you go”

YOU CRIED EVEN MORE BECAUSE OF THAT

you just wanted to be in his arms forever

and for now

you do stay in it

[anne-white-star]

Au (Young) prince jon pertwee x reader

Warnings: non

Paring : (young) jon pertwee x reader

Words : 5,840

Im sorry its so long i lost track of wrighting please do excuse me for any spelling mistakes and if its written weird this was writing over the span of three weeks because i also had to do my job in between, but i hope you enjoy reading and please let me know what you think 😊💖

Notes : reader is invited to a court presatation because she turned 18 and is of noble blood after the court presentation she can go to royal/noble balls/parties to look for a suitable husband. (Debutante dress = is a court presatation dress in case you are wondering) i tried to make it as acurate as posseble But i make things up here and there. This Plays somewhere between the late 1890s and the early 1910s. Y/n her family is really kind to their friends, servants and other people of lower class.

Other info : (m/f/n) mother 's friend name.... (P/s/n) Personal servant name

Y/n was sitting in the library of their mension reading when she heared her mother call her

"Y/n i have news for you" her mother walked in.

"What is it mother?" Asked y/n while placing her book that she was reading on the table

"I just got a letter from the Queen she invited us for the next up coming court presatation in the Buckingham palace"

"Oh really and what has it to do with me?"

"Wel now that you turned 18 you are oficialy of age now to look for a husband" her mother said smiling "And after the Court presentation you wil be able to go to royal parties, balls and banquets"

Y/n stood up "when is the presentation?'

"The ceremony begines around 2:00 thill 3:00 pm march 30th" awnserd her mother

"And what do i have to do now its februari 28th mother i have a whole month"

"Well" said her mother "we have to try Debutante dresses choose shoes and accessoires plus you need to practice."

"Practice what?"

"To precent yourself of course" said her mother

"Mother do i really have to"

"Yes dear you know your father and i exept the way you are but the Queen does not"

"Alright lets choose a dress first"

Y/n sighed "fine"

(You can Choose one of the dresses above)

After a whole day of trying on dresses y/n finaly found the one including the shoes

"Mother is it alright that i go to bed im extremly tired" asked y/n

"Sure my dear good night" said her mom

"Good night mother" said y/n while walking up the stairs to her bedroom

While walking past her fathers studdy she saw him sitting there reading trough some papers.

"Hello father how was your day today?" She asked while walking in

"Oh hello y/n it was alright I got the news from your mother that you are invited to the court presatation"

"Yes indeed im kinda nervous" y/n said while twirling her fingers

"Oh nothing to worry about dear if you practice good you will be able to get trough it"

"Thanks father im going to bed now i have been fitting dresses the whole day im really tired now" she said while giving her father a kiss on the forehead

"Good night dear"

⊱ ────── {⋅. ❖ .⋅} ────── ⊰

The next morning y/n woke up early and prepared her self to get ready for breakfast

"Good morning y/n" said her mother

"Morning" she replied

"Did you sleep wel dear?"

"Yes i did" smiled y/n and sat at the head of the table and started to eat

"Ready to choose the right accessoires today y/n?"

"Oh yes mother im looking forward to it" she said smiling

After breakfast y/n And her mother went to her parents bedroom, her mother walked up to a big wooden closet and opend the doors On one of the shelves was a soft pink box, She grabed it and went to y/n.

"In this box are some accessoires that you can chose from, these wer worn by my mother and myself at our first court presatations" she grabed the white gloves out of the box and gave them to y/n

Y/n looked in the box and saw a pearl choker a smal tiara a big diamond necklace and a hand fan plus veil with ostrich feathers.

"This is what i wore at the time" said her mother She set the box on the bed and grabed the chocker and put it around y/n's neck next she grabed the biger necklace "this bigger one wore my mother as wel and her mother before that" she clasped the necklace around y/n her neck as wel. Her mother smiled at y/n and looked in the full length mirror She grabed the tiara and placed it on her head

"you look so mutch like me when i wore that".

"when will i have to practes mother?".

"Next week dear"

⊱ ────── {⋅. ❖ .⋅} ────── ⊰

March 9th

Today y/n would go to practes her presatation a friend of her mother would come and help her.

When afternoon came around her mother brought her friend in

"y/n you remember (mother best friend name)"

"Oh yes i do"

"Oh Look at you, you look so mutch like your mother it was just like yesterday that i hold you for the first time" she gave y/n a big hug

"Shal we go and practice now?" Asked her mother

Everything was set up for the practice, two chairs a long big rug and there wer some servants of the house who wer there to help. Y/n wore a dress kinda similar to a debutant dress but it was for practice

"Alright y/n when you present yourself to the Queen you have to bow, how does it go you come trough that door you walk over to us and bow but not a normal bow you get really low your knee almost toutch the ground kiss your mother her hand after that while you get up gracefully you grab the train of your dress again and put it over the same arm like you had before you walked in and walk out of the room. We wil be practicing the up comming 2 weeks so that you wil do it correct" said the (m/f/n).

Y/n nodded "good". Y/n walked out of the room to the door one of her personal servants was waiting

"I bet that you wil do it good y/n" said (p/s/n) he/she smiled at her.

(P/s/n) grabed the court train from y/n her arm and placed it behind her, y/n stood up straight a fake bouqet of arteficial flowers in hand, she walked out of the room not to fast and not to slow, y/n walked to her mother grabed her hand and went in a bow she kisses her mothers hand then she let go and reached for her court train she tried to stand up But the lost balance and fell over.

"are you alright dear?" Asked her mother

"Oh yeah im alright how did i do for the first time?"

"That was pretty good for the first time you looked like a natural" said her (m/f/n)

"Should i try again?" Asked y/n

"Sure dear you did wel but you have to work on your balance" said her mother giving y/n a soft smile

Y/n tried over and over again to do it right but everytime she tried to stand up the fell over because she could not keep her balance y/n her mother stood up from her chair and walked over to her daughter

"Y/n are you alright" asked her mother

"Yes" said y/n while wiping her tears away "im just so disapointed in myself, i can't even do a simple thing like standing up gracefully"

(M/f/n) walked over "we just keep practcing we have two more weeks to go"

"Lets have some tea and take a break"

Y/n was about to stand up but fell down again "i have enough now!" She took off her heels and trew them to the other side of the room but while the heels wer thrown the heel of the left shoe broke off

(P/s/n) walked to get the shoe and turned around "look y/n i think this i why you kept falling over" she showed them the shoe

"Lucky enough are those shoes for practice" said (m/f/n)

"Yes indeed"

⊱ ────── {⋅. ❖ .⋅} ────── ⊰

March 30th

Finaly the day came of the court presatation y/n was dressed up in her gown and had her bouqet of flowers conciderd out of

White Lisianthus, White Gypsophila, White/Green Monte Casino Asters, Pink Hydrangea, Pink roses, pink astibe, dust miller.

they wer absolutly beautyfull, she walked up to their cariage and sat down, her mother was also dressed up in a presatation gown.

"Are you ready for today y/n?"

"Yes mother" y/n smiled

They arived at the Buckingham palace, y/n got up and grabed her court train and got out her mother followed. there were many young man and ladys who were present and walked in trough the big doors her mother linked y/n her arm trough hers and followed the other people.

When they came in to a big hall women wer lined up and all the men went in to the drawing room of the palace, they lined up behind the other women y/n was kinda nervous and her mother saw that.

"Y/n are you alright dear?"

"Im just nervous mother"

Her mother smiled and squeesed y/n her hand "oh sweety its Alright take a deep breath"

About 30 minuts later it was y/n her turn a royal servant took the train from y/n her arm and placed it behind her, Their name was called out by one of the servants "may i present to you (y/m/n) and y/n (l/n)"

her mother went with her in to the drawing room nobel men,women and the king and queen wer ther y/n walked gracefully head held high steady steps her mother bowed and so did y/n, y/n grabed the hand of the Queen and kissed it and then let go, she grabbed the train of her dress placed it over her arm and stood up and walked out of the drawing room with her mother. Y/n let go of a breath and smiled "you did so wel sweetheart" her mother said to her.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ❖ .⋅} ────── ⊰

April 13th

About 2 weeks later they got an other invatation

"Y/n we got an other letter dear its for an invatation to a ball at Buckingham palace" said her mother

Her father sat in his chair reading the news paper "when is it (y/m/n)?"

"In a week she replied"

Y/n sat up straight "in a week? then i have to chose my accessoires" she stood up and walked up the stairs to her bedroom. Once in her bedroom she opend the closet and grabed a box with all kind of accessoires, tiara's, necklace's, wristbands, earings. And many more. Then she remembered the box she got for her 18th birthday. Y/n placed the box back in her clossed and grabbed the one she got for her birthday, she had not opend it yet because her mother had said that its for her first ball

In the box was a pair of white shoes, a tiara/crown, a diamond necklace and a pearl choker with a pink quartz/diamond, a pair of diamond pearl earing, a diamond opal bracelet and a carnete de ball handfan.

Her mother walked in "you like it y/n?" She asked smiling softly while sitting next to her on the bed

"Oh its loveley" said y/n with tears in her eyes

"Tomorow we are going to fit dresses and you can choose whatever design of dress you like"

Y/n stood up and did a twirl oh "i can't wait for the ball" she grabbed her mothers hand and twirled her around as wel and started to giggle, her mother smiled and said "you just look so mutch like me when i got the invatation i was so exited and thats how i met your father",

"You met father at your first ball? Wow it sounds like a real fairytail" y/n had a dreamy look in her eyes.

The next day y/n and her mother went to fit dresses for the ball many girls war walking in and out of the store, they walked in and looked at the dresses they lined the walls all kind of colors purple, pink, yellow, blue and manny more. One of the workers of the shop walked up to them and asked "hello welkom to our shop how can i help you"

"Wel we are looking for a dress for my daughter She's going to her first ball"

"I see, follow me" said the employe

Hours went by and y/n just could not find the right dress when she walked in to an other room she saw other ball gowns, she walked back to her mother "mother i have seen some dresses in the other room can we please look at them?" Her mother nodded

After fitting more dresses y/n finaly found the perfect dress

⊱ ────── {⋅. ❖ .⋅} ────── ⊰

April 20th

The day of the ball

Everybody was ready the cariage was waiting to take them to Buckingham palace y/n her parents were waiting for their daughter. Y/n was still getting ready with the help of (p/s/n). "You look absolutely beautyfull y/n" she placed the tiara on y/n her head

"Thank you (p/s/n)" smiled y/n she stood up and walked out of her bedroom " take the evening off you deserve it and thanks for helping (p/s/n)" y/n walked down the stairs out of the door, Y/n took her seat and the cariage went on its way.       

When they arived at the palace there wer many people just like at the court presatation she saw many other cariages. Y/n her parents got out of the cariage when they got out then her father hold out his hand and y/n grabed it helping her out she stood next to her father and he smiled "You look so mutch like your mother" y/n blushed "thank you father"

Her mother put her hand on y/n her shoulder "y/n remember the hand fan that was in the box" y/n nodded "Good wel when you have danced with a person you note their name on the hand fan in that case you wil know who is who"

After her mother was done explaining they went inside the palace they followed the music manny young men and women were on the ballroom floor dancing some wer drinking some wine on the side. Y/n followed her parents to a group of people who wer chatting with echoter. They introduced y/n to some of the males in the group her parents wer already deep in conversation that they din't see a man walking up to her he bowed to y/n and asked "may i have this dance madam?" Y/n replied "yes of course" he took her hand and leaded her to the ballroom floor

He had brown curly hair blue eyes and a kind face he was wearing a suit with medals and golden trims

"Whats your name?" she asked

"My name is John Devon Roland de Perthuis de Laillevault but you can call me jon for short miss, but whats the name of this beautyfull women in front of me?" Jon asked smiling.

"My name is y/n l/n" she replied with a smile

"A beautyfull name for a beautyfull women"  

When they arived on the ball room floor the music started to play again he placed his right hand on her hip and the left on her shoulder. Y/n her left hand grabbed her skirt and her right hand grabbed jon's left hand, and they started to dance to the walz.

"You are really great at the walz miss y/n i never met someone who could dance as good as you"

"Oh thank you" blushes y/n

When the dance ended jon wished her goodbye but then she relised "wait!" she went after him

"Yes?" He turned around

"How Do you spell your full name?" She asked blushing

Jon laughed "shall i write it down for you?"

Y/n nodded and gave him her hand fan and pencil "will i see you again?" She asked

"Of course" he gave her the pencil and hand fan back,"see you later miss y/l/n" he said with a smile and he walked away.    

A few minutes later a man with blond hair and blue eyes walked up to her

"May i have this dance please?" He bowed

"Yes of course" she replied and put her hand in his.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ❖ .⋅} ────── ⊰

About a few hours later y/n had a few names on her hand fan wich included

Peter Malcolm Gordon Moffett, Thomas Stewart Baker, Percy James Patrick Kent-Smith, David John McDonald,

She walked back to her parents who wer standing on the side talking with some people

"Ah y/n there you are are you enjoying your self"  her father asked

"Yes im enjoying myself" she smiled  

"May i see your hand fan dear?"asked her mother

Y/n gave her the hand fan and her mother looked over the names then she saw a name of somone really important "y/n dear have you danced with John Devon Roland de Perthuis de Laillevault?" Her mother asked in a hussed tone

"Um is something wrong with that?"

"No not at all but do you know who that is?" Y/n shook her head "y/n he's a prince you have dance with one of the royals"

Sundenly it clicked she had danced with a royal, a prince non the less  

Her mother gave y/n back her hand fan " you can go and get something to drink dear" her mother smiled and turned back to the people who she was talking with

Y/n walked way to the table to get something to drink

"Miss y/l/n" she turned around hearing somone saying her last name, when she turned around there stood jon smiling at her "Hello" she said smiling sofly.

"going for a drink i see" jon also grabbed a glass from the table and took a sip

She nodded while looking around the ball room "I really do enjoy my first ball but my feet hurt from dancing" she giggled

Jon took the last sip from his wine glass "follow me i wanna show you something"

Y/n followed after jon up to the the grand stairs they went to the first floor to the east wing of the palace, jon hold open the door to the center room "we are here" y/n looked around the room "um jon i really don't want to be rude but i should not be here" she looked doen grabbing her skirt with one hand

Jon walked to the balcony doors And opend them, he than walked back over to y/n " why not? I mean im here im aloud to be here so are you" he grabed her hand sofly. She looked up and gave a soft smile. Jon grined and walked her over to the balcony "the sky is beautyfull tonight" jon said looking up, she followed his gaze to the sky and she lost her breath "its beautyfull", jon grabed a chair and set it down for y/n "please do sit down and rest your feet"  

     Y/n sat down and jon walked back in to get an other chair she took off her shoes and start to rub her feet "I think i have blisters on my feet" she said gigeling. Jon came back with the chair and sat down next to her "are you alright?" "Hmm yeah i am" she turned to face him "are you sure?". "Yeah but i don't think im going to dance for a month" y/n laughed and jon joined in. "I never met someone like you, you are not like most women i met at this ball and other parties". "Is that a good thing or?". "I mean it in a good way don't worry".

Y/n and jon chat for an other hour when y/n said "Jon what time is it?". "one moment" jon stood up went to look at the grand clock then she heared the chimes of big ben and she counted them "1.....2.....3.....4.....5.....6......7.....8....9...10...11....12 its mid night i should go my parents said we would leave at 12" y/n stood up and grabed her shoes and put them on "should i escort you to your carriage?". "Yeah sure" jon offered y/n her arm and walked her down the stairs people wer leaving and some wer wispering among them selfs while they saw the prince walk down the stairs with a women who they din't really know.

They walked outside to the carriage. "Y/n there you are" said her mother, she bowed down to jon "your highness" jon held up his hand "there is no need for that" he smiled. Jon looked at y/n her father "your daughter is quite a special one". "What did you do y/n?". "She did nothig wrong don't worry". "Let's go home its late and i bet that y/n is really tired". Y/n her mother climbed in to the carriage and then her father followed. "Wil we see echoter again?" Asked y/n "i know we wil" jon said smiling.

Y/n sat in the carriage as wel next to the carriage stood a big flower pot with red roses he plucked one and gave it to her. "Thank you" she smiled. "Until next time" He bowed. The carriage rode away jon waved after her and so did y/n. She sat back down once jon was out of sight. "So what did you two do?" Asked her father. " nothig we sat and talked". "But where did you go we could not see you anywere". "We went to the  center room i had to sit down because my feet hurt". "I see, wel you can take a rest tomorow" her mother smiled.

Once home y/n walked up the stairs to her bedroom and started to dress for bed after she was done she got under the blankets and fell asleep dreaming of jon.             

⊱ ────── {⋅. ❖ .⋅} ────── ⊰

A few weeks later..

Y/n was sitting outside in her back garden reading a book when she heared the sound of horses and the weels of a carriage then it stoped wich means it had stoped before their house then she heared her mother call "y/n would you see who that is dear?". "Yes of course!" Y/n placed her book aside and stood up she walked down the path next to the house wich was shaded by trees and bushes.

When y/n got to the front of the house there stood the carriage but not any carriage but the royal carriage. lackey opend the door and shouted "may i present to you his royal highness John Devon Roland de Perthuis de Laillevault!" After his name was anounced jon stepped out and looked around when then his eyes fell on y/n " hello y/n its great to see you again" he said while walking up to her. " jon what are you doing here? How did you find my adress?" She asked smiling "i had to ask my parents for your aderess" he said while rubing his neck. Y/n smiled and grabed his hand "come with me i'll show you the way to the garden" going down the same path jon had to duck to avoid the tree branches.

when they got in the back garden y/n her parents wer sitting drinking some tea "mother, father look who's here" her parents looked up "your highness" said her mother "please just call me jon" he said smiling "please do sit down" y/n her father gestured at a chair "I will get some more tea" y/n went inside. "So Jon tell us why are you here?". "Wel after the ball and a few weeks after that i could not take my mind of your daughter" y/n her mother smiled "I understand". "and i want to get to know her better and start a relationship". "What do you think y/m/n?". "I give my consent" she said smiling. "So do i" her husband said.

When y/n came back with the tea and sat down "y/n I have a question for you". "Yes what is it jon?". "I was wondering if we could start a relationship with echoter because i just haven't been abel to get you out of my mind". Y/n smiled and grabed his hand "I would love to" her parents smiled at them when they looked at jon and y/n sitting there they saw them self when they wer younger.

Jon stayed the night over at their house in the guest room wich was next to y/n's, jon was staring at the seling when he heared a knok on the bedroom door, jon got out of bed and walked to the door and opend it, there stood y/n in a night gown and a candel labra "hello" she smiled "hello y/n whats wrong?", "I could not sleep what about you?", "me neither i was just staring at nothing" he grined, "may i come in?", "yes sure". y/n walked in and put the candel labra on the bed side table and walked to the balcony doors And opend them

"I readed in the news paper that there would be shooting stars tonight" y/n walked outside to sit on the chairs who stood on the balcony, jon walked outside and sat down next to her. "Look!", jon looked up in shock at the sky but when he looked up he saw stars shooting trough the sky it was absolutly beautyfull, y/n was in aw Jon looked from the sky back at y/n she was absolutly beautyfull her eyes glinsterd like stars. About an hour y/n fell asleep, jon picked her up and braught her back to her own room he placed her in bed he blowed out the candels and went back to his own room and fell asleep on his bed   

The next day they all had breakfast with echoter "would you all mind comming back with me to Buckingham palace to meet my parents?" Jon asked "oh i would love to, can we please go?" "Yes sure dear" her mother smiled    

After breakfast y/n and her parents prepared them self to go back to Buckingham palace with jon, jon was waiting for them to get ready y/n was the one who was done first she walked down the stairs towarts jon he held his arm out to her and she took it a "I just can't wait to meet your parents" she said while leaning her head on his shoulder". a few minuts later y/n her parents also came from the stairs they walked outside to the carriage that was waiting for them the lackey opend the door and let them in jon held out his hand to help her in the carriage. She sat down and jon sat next to her and her parents went to sit opposite them.

After the carriage arived at Buckingham palace jon his parents wer waiting for them once they stept out they aproced jon's parents. "Father mother this is y/n y/l/n and these are her parents y/f/n and y/m/n" y/n her parents bowed and so did y/n. "Its so Nice to meet you" jon his mother said. "Its an honor to meet you your highness". "Oh no need to be so formal just call me Avice, this is my husband roland". " Its Nice to meet you" he kissed y/n her hand and did the same to her mother and shook her fathers hand. "please follow us to the white drawing room" they followed them and sat down on the coutch "our son has been talking a lot about you sinds the ball". "Only good things i hope" y/n giggled. Jon's mother smiled she knew that she's the perfect girl for her son.

After they talked jon and y/n went to the garden of the palace and went to take a walk "your parents are so Nice" smiled y/n while they walked past the lake y/n looked at the water when her eyes fell on something "jon look ducks" he followed her gaze "would you like to sit down?" y/n nodded jon took off his jacked and layed it on the ground "My lady" he said grinning "thank you" she giggled back. "Its so peacefull here" jon humed in respond.

That night everybody went to bed y/n went to her guest room that was located next to jon's while her parents bedroom was opposite of them. What they din't know was that when y/n and jon had been outside early that day they wer talking about the relationship of their children and that if they would get maried they would exept it because that they could get along so wel.

The next few months went like this And later on they would stay for a week at echoters house.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ❖ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Jon's parents decided to give a outside party at Buckingham palace it was warm outside and the sky was blue. A big picknick was prepared in the afternoon, people war enjoying them self music was playing some people wer dancing. Jon stood up "shal we go for a little walk?" He asked while holding his hand out for y/n to take "yes of course" she placed her hand in his jon helped her up, "its so Nice that your parents invited our family's" smilled y/n "wel i heared that there is someone who will make a big announcement" jon said. " Oh really? I dint know that do you know who the person is who's going to make the announcement?" Jon shook his head "no i don't know".

When they got back jon's father saw that he came back with y/n from the walk he tapt his wife on the shoulder "avice, think its the best moment now that jon makes the announcement" his wife nodded "i think he knows when to do it darling" jon came back they had they had a secret sign jon nodded to his father wich ment that he is ready roland stood up "dear ladies and gentlemen there is someone with is who would like to make an announcement" he gesures to his son. Jon "yes like my father said i would like to make an announcement" he turned to y/n "y/n the day sinds i met you on the night of the ball i knew we would go wel togetter, and with all those months that i have known you those wer the best months of my life And thats why i want to ask an important question" jon went down on his knee and pulled out a red velvet box with a ring "dear y/n l/n Do you want to be my wife?" Y/n had tears in her eyes and her hand over her mouth, everybody was looking at her waiting for the awnser. "YES! a milion times YES!" everybody started clapping and cheering. Y/n huged jon, he spun her around and hold her close.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ❖ .⋅} ────── ⊰

The day of the wedding

Y/n woke up early to get prepared for her special day. taking A bath, fitting her dress, do her hair and make up, jon also prepared him self they could not see echoter thill the wedding. Y/n her mother in law walked up to her with a box "this is for you my dear" she handed her the box, y/n opend it in the box was a beautyfull tiara with diamonds and pearls "I wore this on my wedding day now i want you to have it" avice grabed the tiara and put it on y/n her head "so now you look like a real princess". "Oh before i forget" avice grabed an other box and handed y/n a piece of paper it readed "big congatulations to the new couple, here is my wedding gift to you, Greatings from the Queen of England" she opend the box and there was a diamond necklace with a diamond heart. "Its absolutly gorgeous" she clasped the necklace around her neck. 

Y/n her mother walked in "Oh sweetheart you look absolutely beautyfull", "thanks mother",  "we have two more hours thill the wedding". Y/n nodded and smiled "I can't believe im going to get maried" she cried happy tears Her mother huged her "Oh darling we are so proud of you our little girl".

Jon got in his cariage with his and y/n her father 30 minuts before y/n did and they left for Westminster Abbey. People wer standing on the side of the road waving at them. 30 minuts later y/n got in her own cariage together with her mother and mother in law, "im so nervous", " don't worry dear you wil get trough this". When they arived they went to a separate room 10 more minuts before the wedding started. Jon stood at the altar waiting for her with his parents next to them, people sat down in their chairs. There wer so many people friends, family, nobels and royals. Music started to play wich indicated that the wedding had started y/n took her father's arm and he walked her down the aisle. The music stoped when y/n stood at the altar

The priest spoke"Welcome friends, family and nobles today we have gathered to tie the knot between these two young lovers, John Devon Roland de Perthuis de Laillevault and (your full name)", please repeat after me.

"I, (Bride/Groom), take (you/thee) (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us."

"I, John Devon Roland de Perthuis de Laillevault, take (your full name), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us."

He grabed the ring and put it on y/n her finger

"I, (your full name), take John Devon Roland de Perthuis de Laillevault, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us."

Y/n did the same and put the ring on jon his finger as wel

"Now that you both have committed yourselves to one another and to your Holy Union through the sacred vows that you have taken and by the giving and receiving of these rings, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride"

Jon kissed y/n and everybody stood up and clapped for the bride and groom, jon and y/n walked down the aisle the bells wer ringing sending the newly wedd couple on their way people outside wer cheering for them. Y/n and jon walked down the stairs to the carriage that was waiting for them.

it was pulled by four white horses, they got in and sat down they rode away people linned the streets clapping and cheering flower peddals wer thrown it was absolutly beautyfull. Jon and y/n kissed as they rode back to the palace

⊱ ────── {⋅. ❖ .⋅} ────── ⊰

A few years later y/n and jon welcomed a beautyfull girl named Dariel de Perthuis de Laillevault and boy named sean de Perthuis de Laillevault in the world

And they lived happy ever after

The end

I hope you enjoyed reading im sorry its so long 😅

And please let me know what you thought about it thank you 😊🌹🌹      

[let-me-make-you-proud]

Tangled: The series Q&A with Chris.

This is a recapitulation from today’s (February 9th, 2019) Questions and Answers session with Chris on the Tangled Discord Server.

Q:  How was your day? How has the crew been? A:  That’s an easy one... so far, my day has been great!  We’ve all been actually REALLY great! Everyone is still loving making the show! And we all can’t wait for you all to see what’s coming up!

Q:  What this series means to you personally? A: As most already know, the show is very personal for me. I pull a lot of the themes and situations from my own experiences and the experiences of the people I love. The writers do an amazing job!

Q: Which episode are you most excited for out of the new titles that were released? A: I need to stay away from commenting on anything coming up. Sorry guys!!! You will love them though, I promise!

Q: Do you know whether or not there will be a long hiatus between season 2 and season 3 too? A: I do not know anything about Disney Channel’s plans for the shows schedule.

Q: I wonder who has built the caravan. Was it Rapunzel herself? A: We all just imagined that the caravan was picked up along the way shortly after the events of season one. I liked the idea that they were out there picking up supplies and things along their way. There could be more stories about how they acquired it. Those stories could be very fun.

Q: I know there are a lot of questions coming in but when you have a moment, would you mind telling us some of your favorite fan theories or AUs? A: AU’s - Well, that Moon Varian thing has gotten a lot of attention.

Q: What did you think when you heard that Germany was getting the episodes first? A: Honestly, it was quite odd to hear that Germany was getting the new episodes first. But again, I have zero say over how programming works at the channel. No one at the studio really does.

Q: Do you read fanfiction of the show? A: I don’t really have the time to read fan fiction, and I’d be worried that some of those ideas would find themselves into the show, so I stay away from them.... I’m sure they are great though!! I love that people feel so connected to the story that they write their own stories! That is SO GREAT! And inspiring in itself!

Q: Have you met any cosplayers? A: Uh, I met a few at D23! Amazing people!

Q: Fave piece of fanart? A: Any of the Cass fan art! I screen shot them and send a few of them to Eden! She loves them!!!

Q: Who's your favorite character? A: It’s hard to have a fav. I love them all so much!

Q: Bouncing off of that question, do you have a favorite villain? A: Well cone on, what would happen to me if I didn’t say Varian wasn’t my fav? HAHAHA!!! I do love Varian!

Comment: I noticed Varian went through lots of design changes, not really a question but I just gotta say how amazing his design is. Chris: He was conceived very early on in the development of the show. But he didn’t really come to life until Jeremy stepped into the role. His design changed after Jeremy was cast. Once we knew more about him he started to take more visual shape. He was a little softer in his design, not as dynamic. Ben Balistreri really found the right tone with him and gave him his final look! You can thank him!

Q: What about Cass. DId she change as well? A: Cass was similar. We had a pretty good idea of who she was, and what she would look like. But once I heard Eden’s voice, she became much more real and started to influence the design much more. Tough and able, she needed to look older and feel different than Rapunzel.

Q: Are you planning to add any more major-ish characters? A: Can’t really speak about upcoming episodes, SORRY!!!

Q: Do you or the other crew members have any pets that inspired any of the animals in the show, like Max or Rudiger or Pascal or Owl? A: Not REALLY?!I wanted my Scottish terrier to make it into the show, but he never did. His name was Conan!

Q: Is there anything you can tell us about (Shorty)? A: No, I like his mystery.

Q: Is he gonna be the Old Man Mcgucket of the series? A: He will NOT be the Old Man Mcgucket of the show.

Q: What is working on a creative team like? It's something i would love to do one day, but i was wondering what studio life is like? A: Working with the crew is the best part of the show. They are amazingly talented and inspiring! I love our crew. The artists, the writers, the voices, the musicians. It’s an amazing process. I’m so lucky that I get to work with ALL of them. I’m the only one that gets to work one on one with every single person on the show. Every single person brings a unique voice to the show. It has its challenges, but at the end of the day, you guys make it ALL worth it. So much more to come! You guys have no idea! I feel like the best stuff is ahead of us. I just wish there were more of you! I know, you guys do a GREAT job. But it’s amazing that so many “Tangled” fans still don’t even know that there is a SHOW!     

Q: So at what point in the creative process do you think it's easiest to see what the episode will be?  A: Hopefully it’s pretty early, but it doesn’t become solid for me until we start talking to the director and board artists about it. I love the visuals so it becomes clearer to me when I can start seeing things. The themes are always clear. It’s really about finding what the individual episode has to do with the season. Then I can start fine tuning it.

Q: What is you favourite scene? A:  Oh I have so many. Um.......When her hair comes back. Her jumping out into the moonlight was my drawing. I loved that. It was like her being reborn.

Q: What made you decide that the leaf people on the Island (Lorbs) should talk with a German accent? A: It just seemed to be a funny thing for them to be German. Flula Borg is hilarious. He was in Pitch Perfect. And is on Conan O’Brien all the time.

Q: Has there ever been bloopers during the series? A: Bloopers are rare in animation. We cut scenes from time to time but the process needs to be tight so very few things get cut!

Q: Did anyone who said the idols name have trouble pronouncing "Idol of the Vershaftsbezeigungengien"? A: Oh! That?! HA! Flula just said it, nailed it. And it just became what the idol was called! We laughed every time he said it. He never messed it up. Nailed it every time.

Q: What background do we have on Friedborg's creation? A: Oh Friedborg.... She was simply meant to be this fun silent member of the castle. The show is SO heavy... and emotional, we just try to look for as many light moments and characters as we can to lessen the heaviness of the overall story.

Q: Did you have any inspiration for the character of Cass? A: Oh Cass. Ummm... she’s made up of a lot of people and experiences. I had an older wiser friend growing up that showed me the ropes. I wanted Rapunzel to have one of those. I cool, experienced buddy. Outside of Eugene. There’s your boyfriend, and then there’s your BFF. They are different.

Q: Were show auditions done all at the same time? Or as new characters needed? A: No, Lance came later, but I knew who I wanted for him. James was ALWAYS Lance.

Q: I'm curious, why did you decide to give Cass an Owl? A: Ben loves owls. And it seemed like something she’d have. Lives most of its real life at night.

Q: What was your inspiration for Quirin, Varian, and their family? A: Varian really came out of necessity. We needed something that would illustrate Rapunzel and her Father’s strained relationship.

Q: What inspired you to get so much Broadway talent for the voices? A: Well. I love broadway. And it seemed in line with the film already. Donna Murphy is a Broadway legend! So it only seemed natural. I knew there was going to be a lot of music and wanted a more sophisticated talent pool than just the regular Disney Channel Stars. Our cast is AMAZING! You guys have no idea.

Comment: Im a huge broadway fan I was so sad Christian Borle didn't sing. Chris: He didn’t sing.... BUUUUT STILL!!! CHRISTIAN BORLE!!!! He’s amazing!!!

Q: Whose bird design is your favourite? A: I loved them all. They won an award!!! 

Q: With two legends like the actors playing mother and father, why did you decide to not do a song? A: Songs are difficult to do in the 22 min episodes. We knew we wanted Rapunzel and Cass to sing about the road, so after that we just ran out of time!

Q: Without going into spoilers, any information we can know on Adira's development? A: Well obviously she has the tattoo... So she’s connected in SOME way.

Q: On character design, how long does it take to design a character? A: As far as time goes.... The crew gets a few weeks to design a show, but for major characters that we know we will see over multiple episodes, we take more time. Ben was working on Adira’s design even before we ended season one.

Q: Could I be cheeky and ask for some portfolio tips? Like.. what would be the number one thing a studio (not just disney, any really) would look for when it comes to a character design artist? A: Good question...The number one thing needed for a designer is to know how to turn a character in space.It’s boring, but it’s the NUMBER ONE THING required for the job. Knowledge of shape and space. Not just 3/4 front. So many portfolios have these amazing drawings, but they don’t mean anything if that can’t animate. Do tons and tons of turns. A lot of people think that character design is this super creative flourish of whatever you want all day long. And honestly, it’s not.It’s a lot of mundane clinical turns that are done for use by animators.It’s very boring most of the time.

Q: Would that be very similar for general concept art? A: Well, there’s a difference between visual development and character design.Character design for TV is CLINICAL AND STERILE. But VERY useful. And necessary.But it’s not the life of a “Art of” book.You need to be able to think like a computer.

Q: How early did you have the concept for Lance, and did his role change during development? A: I think I’ve told this story before but I love telling it. About Lance. So. I had flown to New York to pitch the show to Music legend Alan Menken... We spent the day pitching and Alan loved the concept of the show and agreed to write our songs!!! HUGE! Life changing day for sure. So I think he got us tickets to see Aladdin that evening on Broadway. I had never seen it on stage. So we went and I always keep notes for ideas in my phone. And the moment I saw James Monroe Iglehart, I knew he needed to be in the show. He was so much fun! And big! And funny! And a GREAT singer.I wrote down “Eugene needs a fun friend from his past and James would be perfect!” This was before we even began writing any scripts for the show. So from then on out, he became a character in my head, it was just the details of how he would play into the story.But we all love him and James is like a brother to me. We have so much in common! He’s the best! He’s in Hamilton on Broadway now! He and Lin go back a LONG way!They have been friends for years! Q: Which movie or show song is your favourite? A: Well, if it’s not too obvious, I’m a “Little Shop of Horrors”/“Little Mermaid” guy.I love the tragedy of Little Shop and the beauty of Mermaid. I love music and animation. I think our songs are some of the best Disney has to offer across the board. I’d put any of our songs against the features any day.And there are more coming that are some of the best in the series!!! 

Comment: Listen up is one of my favorites. Chris: I like listen up because Rapunzel at that point needs to listen to the voices in her head... it was motivated by the things that were happening in the bigger story. 

Comment: I liked View from up here. Chris: View from Up Here was also motivated by the bigger arc of the story. Songs for me should work hard to inform the audience what is happening in the story overall, not just what’s happening AT THE MOMENT. “Ready as I’ll ever be” was really about Rapunzel getting ready to leave home. She was as ready to start her adventure as she was going to be. We just used the song to give that same attitude to everyone. But Rapunzel is the focus. Everything SHOULD have purpose. Narrative purpose. 

Chris: Keep watching and SPREAD THE WORD!!!

[anuknowha]

Till Death Do We Part// Chapter 8, Selena’s Window

Yolanda sat there in her cell, marking yet another day on the wall. It's been over 24 years, over 8,760 days from when she was first convicted for her heinous crime. It felt like time would constantly move slow, the clock in her room would tick slowly, second by second passing. The ticks would be loud at some points, and at others, they would die down. Those sounds of the clock would ring through her ears and almost drive her mad. It was too constant, it was as if it were something she couldn’t get away from. Time itself was a constant reminder for her, it made her remember her mistakes. It made her remember when she killed Selena.

Currently, at her place on the floor, she was staring at the bunk bed in front of her that was always dormant. They refused to partner her up with anyone, she didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve the company, she was meant to be alone. It pissed her off, she hated it but she knew this was the placed she earned in this world.

A curse left her breath as she was called out of her cell for lunch. She had forgotten what time it was. She looked outside her cell and there was a guard, standing ready with a key to unlock her from her prison so that she could be taken to me the mess hall.

“Come on Saldivar, its lunch time.” the guard beckoned as she grabbed her wrist roughly and led her to the cafeteria.

This was the only time that she was able to see other people, but she wasn’t allowed to communicate with them. She would watch them from a distance, as they would look in her direction and spit in it. And speaking of spit, she has been spit on multiple times by other inmates who even knew she had went to far. It didn’t matter what they did, or how long they were in for, they all hated her, despised her, all except a couple. The few who were supported were marked as “crazy”, they would sit as close to her as they possibly could; winking and smiling at her every time they passed her cell, or even just to get food.

They thought it was brave to the star out, they were always jealous of her fame and fortune.

“What does she have that I don’t have? A pretty face? I had one hell of a face before I was stuck in here, I could’ve been a star.” “She didn’t deserve to be so successful. I’ve seen girls prettier than her and she still got to the top of the charts.” “She ain’t make it look that hard, I bet anyone of us could’ve done this. We could’ve done this.” “Hell yeah we could’ve. Waste of time to think that she was going to actually see the end of her career. Thank goodness we had Yolanda here to stop her.” These were some of the things that had been said about her. They wanted to show their support. In their eyes, she was the most successful person there, she actually achieved something that most couldn’t or even feared to do. And with that they cheered her on, and worshiped her like a god.

It wasn’t always the same set of women, after all she’s been here for 24 years and not everyone was still there. Her first group was out on parole after her 9th year there. Second group was gone about a year or two ago. This third group seemed like they were here to stay, well at least one of them was. She was one of the girls from the last group, and older woman, placed back here because she decided to murder her boyfriend. The first time, she was in here for bank robbery. This woman just didn’t know when to quit, but Yolanda wasn’t surprised. She actually grew quite fond of her. And when her security walked away she would move to their table, admiring her admirers and listening to them talk about her success. She would laugh with them, and enjoy listening to their stories of how they ended up here and what they plan to do when they get out, no matter how violent their decisions were. But when her guard came back she rushed back to her lonesome table, wondering how long it would take before she could talk to her “friends” once again. It was the only thing she enjoyed, and it was the only thing to make her feel powerful.

After she finished her sandwich for today, her guard took her back to the cell that she hated. It was her home, and although it was now only 2 o clock, she was tired. She climbed into the bottom bunk and curled up, grabbing the pillow tightly and sighing into it. To be honest, she regretted everything, being part of the fan club and even meeting Selena in the first place. She wish she never knew about her, and maybe, just maybe she still would’ve been out living her life today.

She continued to think about the thing that landed her in this prison of life, one that she would more than likely spend the rest of her life in. She didn’t expect to be out for parole, even when the time comes, she was expecting everyone to never forgive her. If she got out, everyone would despise her, she won’t be able to get a job, and she’ll be struggling to maintain herself. After all, she was going to be over 60; almost old enough to get her social security and yet she wouldn’t have worked in over 30 years. She was going to be broke, she was never going to regain her life. And with that, she tried to clear her mind.

At dinner, she felt strange, she felt as if something was different, as if someone was watching her. She was slightly paranoid the whole time, watching everyone in the dining hall as they walked past her to their tables. It seemed like no one was paying her mind, and not even her biggest fans were looking in her direction today.

“I think her being in here as made her a little crazy.” one teased as she lifted her index finger to her head and rotated it in a circular motion.

“She’s been in here so long, what do you expect?” another one said.

“Maybe she’s just tired. Sometimes, when I don’t get enough sleep, I start acting a little crazy. You know, a little insane. Sleep is important for us.”

“Yeah, yeah, we know.”

“Should one of us go to check on her?”

“Nah, she’ll be fine by tomorrow.” the oldest woman at the table said as she turned in her direction and made a heart with her hands.

Yolanda just sent here a smile and a nod as she sat down the rest of her food, unable to finish due to the mental discomfort and the feeling of unease that tugged at her stomach. Needless to say, she was ready to head back to her cell.

Later that night, after the guards went home, she was slowly entering a relaxed state. She got comfortable as she laid down and turned towards the wall. She closed her eyes and drifted off into a sleep slumber.

At a quarter to midnight, she woke up, feeling like someone was staring directly at her. She looked outside the cell, and there was no one, the lights outside her small room were all off. The small light in her room was still shining pretty bright.

“H-hello?” she muttered out, only to receive no answer.

“Hello?” she mumbled out once more.

“I see you’ve aged quite a bit, must be the stress. You know, back when I was a singer, there was a lot of stress coming from being famous. But, I guess, being infamous can still put the same amount of weight on you. I wouldn’t know.” a voice came from inside the room.

“Who’s there?!” Yolanda jumped, sitting up in her bed, she looked around only to see nothing.

“You don’t remember me? That kind of makes me sad.”

“Who are you!? Show yourself!”

Selena looked down at her from the top bunk. She gave her a smile of both anger and disgust. “Hola bitch.” she stated.

Yolanda let out a scream, one that no one could hear. She continued to scream, before hopping off the bed and running as quick as she could to the other side of the room. He back pressed against the wall.

“You can’t be here!! You’re dead! I killed you!!”

“That you did, perra. But guess what? Since I was an innocent soul, I ended up exactly where you thought I would. In heaven, somewhere you’d never make it to. You know?” she giggled.

“This can’t be real!”

“You’re right it can’t be. It shouldn’t be, but it is, and here I am, in the flesh. My whole body, live and well with not a single bullet wound.”

“B-but how??” Yolanda swallowed hard.

Selena rolled her eyes.

“I just told you how, I’m in heaven.”

“No, I mean how did you get here?! Back to earth!?”

“That, is something I don’t know, but what I do know, is that I am back and I am well.” Selena said hopping down from the top bunk and basically floating to the floor.

Yolanda was still shivering in fear, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing and it was hard to even comprehend.

“You seemed surprised to see me.”

“Yeah!! Because you’re dead! I killed you!”

“You did. And how many years ago was it again? About 24? It's been a long time, and I bet you don’t even care.” Selena hummed as she took steps closer.

“I-I-”

Selena gets face to face with her murderer and looks her in the eyes.

“You’re not so strong without a weapon, without a gun to protect you huh? I mean look at you, you’re cowering in fear, afraid of what I might do to you. And honestly you should be.”

Yolanda grabbed the closest thing to her and threw it at Selena. It went through her, just like it would a ghost. She swallowed hard, her saliva almost getting caught into her throat.

“Trying to hurt me again? I don’t think you’ll find that as successful as you think. Too bad too, this would be a great time to prove how powerful you are.” Selena paused.

“I despise you for what you did. You killed me in cold blood in jealousy, for what? What did I ever do to you? I gave you a job, a home, and somewhere to be yourself, and how do you repay me? You murder me, right when I was hitting my peak of success, my peak of happiness. And not once did you dare to apologize. Not once did you regret anything that you did. Not once did you bring yourself to ever think about the consequences that you would bring about by taking me out. I lost my friends and family because of you, and they lost me. And it's all your fault.”

“L-look Selena, I didn’t mean to- I was just trying to-”

“Quiet!! I don’t want to hear it. You killed me! You took my life away from me!! I was happy and you just snatched it from me because you were being selfish!!” Selena said, tears forming in her eyes.

She tried not to cry but she couldn’t help it. Ghostly tears fell down her cheeks as she balled her fists in anger.

“I wanted to have kids! I wanted to start a family! I wanted to continue making my mom and dad proud, you don’t understand. I don’t expect you to understand. I really don’t” Selena shook her head and relaxed her hands.

“I’m sorry Selena!! I’m so so so sorry!! Please! Forgive me!! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to end your life like that! I was just being jealous, I just was angry that I might be forgotten or left behind by you by the time that everyone knew me.”

“I wasn’t going to forget you. I’m better than that; I’m better than you, and I always have been.”

“Selena!! I’m sorry!! Please!! Please forgive me!! I didn’t mean it!! I really didn’t mean it!!”

“Yolanda, I can’t. You did it, and you have to own up to it and you know this. I was trying to be there for you, just like I was everyone else. I wanted to make sure you were happy, that you were satisfied with your job. I wanted to see you succeed in life, just like I did, and you didn’t have to be famous to do that. You just needed to be happy, you needed to be content with what I was giving you and I was giving you everything. You had a lot of my attention, my time, and my love. You were in charge of my fans. You were to help me while I helped you. You were to be my best friend when I’m on the road but you didn’t appreciate it. It was never enough for you and I should’ve saw it in your eyes, I should’ve seen the anger and rage that ran through you for who knows how long? But you know, I tried to look past it, I was better than that. You know this, everyone knew this and that’s why they’re all pissed at you. They knew I didn’t deserve this. But what should I expect? Trust no one I guess.”

“Se-” Was the only last syllable she could mutter out before Selena cut her off.

“Vete a la mierda.” Selena said as she turned her back to Yolanda and walked away, disappearing into thin air.

Yolanda clenched her teeth, trying not to cry. She felt regret stab her in her stomach and she felt angry at her past. She fell to her knees, scraping them on the dirty cell floor. She screamed loud, her hands gripping tightly at her hair and yanking roughly, pulling strands out. She continued to screech, which echoed through the area that she was sitting in. She could feel herself slipping, wishing that she could take it all back.

The lights flickered. Before it stayed on for the rest of the night, this time, it was just a lot dimmer.

Chris was sitting in his room, his guitar in his hand as he strummed a few strings. He hummed a melody to himself, it was one that belonged to one of his ex wife’s songs. He let a long sigh escape his lips.

It was getting late, and he had been up all day trying to think of something to write, but nothing came to mind. And the longer he sat there with his instrument in his hand, the longer time slipped away from him and before he knew it, it was 1am.

“I wish Selena was here. It's been so long…”

He felt his heart ache. He felt empty inside once more, and that’s probably why he divorced his last wife. No one could replace Selena, no matter how hard he tried. He hung his head in dread.

“Bebe?” Selena’s voice came in a whisper from the other side of the room.

“Selena?” he lifted his head up to be faced with Selena standing in front of him, an enormous smile on her face.

“Selena!” he jumped up from the bed and embraced her in the best way possible in a warm loving hug.

“I missed you so much Chris.” she said, her smile fading only some.

“I missed you more Selena.” he said as he pulled away from her some, only to pull her into a deep, passionate and loving kiss.

Their hearts were beating a thousand miles a minute as they held each other in an embrace. They felt so warm and comforted.

“Wait, how could you be here!? I thought you were dead!?”

“I am dead, sadly… but… I found a way to travel here, and I knew I needed to pay you a visit.”

“Mi amor, its so late... “

Selena laughed and pushed him gently. She took a look at the clock.. “Its only 1 in the morning.”

“Pretty late to be visiting someone don’t you think?” he laughed.

“Fine!” she said pushing him harder so he falls back onto his bed in a fit of laughter.

Selena crawls on top of him and pulls him into another kiss, more passionate than the one before. Their kiss lasted for minutes before she pulled away.

“I’m sorry Selena.” he tried to fight back tears.

“About what love?” she said, questioning his worrying expression.

“I found someone else… but we got divorced! But we do have two kids… I’m so sorry.”

Selena got silent and felt something that she would assume, if she wasn’t dead, would be heartbreak. She shook her head trying to shake the feeling and gave a soft sigh.

“I didn’t expect you to stay single forever, and it wasn’t your fault I died. I just hope you were happy as long as you were with her.”

“I was, but I was never as happy with her as I was with you.” Chris mumbled.

Selena kissed him once more, wiping his tears away.

“Chris, I just want you to be happy, I don’t care how it happens. I don’t want you to just be caught up on me. I’m gone, and I can’t come back in any other way but this one. And it's not permanent. I don’t even know how long I can be like this until i have to return back to heaven but I wanted you to know how much I love you, and missed you.”

“Please don’t leave again.” he almost whimpered as he gripped her wrist.

“I have to, I’ve been on earth for a few hours now and I don’t want to miss out on talking to my family. Don’t worry, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Selena… I love you.” he said, tears continuing to stream down his slightly swollen cheeks.

“I love you too Chris. Say “hi” to the kids fo me.”” she said as she started to fade, her voice zoning out along with her.

Chris sat there, in his room in disbelief, but he soon began to smile. He wiped his tears away and laughed some as he realized that this was the happiest he had ever been in a while.

Soon enough, Selena was in her brother’s house, who was fast asleep. She planted a kiss on his forehead and rubbed his shoulder before leaving out. She then went to go visit her sister who was preparing for bed, and gave her a pat on the shoulder and a hug from behind. Her sister turned around and saw nothing and continued to prepare herself for sleep. Selena knew she would return a better time, when everyone was active and awake so that was she could spend quality time with them.

Lastly, she went to go visit her parents who were sitting in the living room watching tv. She appeared right in front of it.

“Hola mama, papa.” Selena said grinning.

Both her parents sat up and looked at her, wiping their eyes to make sure they weren’t dreaming.

“Selena!?” they shouted in unison as they both got up and ran over to hug her.

“You can’t be real!!” her mom screamed in disbelief.

“I am mama, I’m in heaven, but I managed to come here so that I can see everyone.”

“You mean you already visited Chris and your siblings?” her father wondered.

“Yes, Chris was awake writing music but my brother and sister were sleeping.”

“We just can’t believe you’re here mija! We’re so happy to see you!”

“Me too mom, I’m so glad to be able to see you again. Both of you, here alive and well. It's been so long since I’ve been able to have the embrace of my loved once and I wish it could stay that way.”

“I wish it could too.” her mother was tearing up,

“No, please don’t cry mom…. I know this isn’t forever but I’ll be back I promise and I know you’ll both join me in heaven. I’ll just keep coming back until you do, as much as I can,as often as I can. I promise.” Selena said as she started fading away.

“What’s happening?!” her father screamed in a slight panic.

“It's time for me to go I guess. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here that long. I’ll be back. I love you both, I always will… make sure you tell Marcella and Abraham that I visited them last night, and that I’ll return soon.”

“Bye Selena! We love you!” they said together as her father hugged her mother trying his best to comfort her.

Selena waved and blew them a kiss as she became nothing. Completely gone from earth’s surface.

“Selena! Selena wake up!!” the brunette shook her new friend’s lifeless body in worry.

“Selena!” She shook her harder, as she watched Selena finally started breathing again.

She gasped and opened her eyes. She sat up, almost as if she was startled and looked her friend in the face, giving her a big tight hug. She took a second to gain her breath, her chest heaving and her heart racing.

“I’m fine Lisa. Its okay, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Thank goodness…” Lisa sighed as she clinged to her friend’s clothing.

“How long was I gone…?”

“About 5 hours. I thought I had lost you. I wasn’t expecting you to be out of it for so long. What even happened…?”

“I-I’m not sure…” she said pulling away and scratching the back of her head. “I was able to visit my killer, and I was able to get in contact with friends and family. I was so happy to see Chris… and mama and papa.”

“How…?!” Lisa’s eyes widened in wonder and speculation.

“It must have something to do with concentration and thought…”

“I didn’t know we were capable of traveling to earth.”

“Me neither, not until today anyway. But, I don’t think I can do it again. It took a lot of energy and it was super stressful.”

Lisa grew worried and hugged Selena once more, the warm embrace comforting her as they sat there together.

“I want to know more, but I rather not have you talk about it. I don’t want you hurting or worrying.”

A knock at the door suddenly came and they looked at each other in wonder.

“Who is it?” Selena shouted.

“Um… its Mac Miller.” the voice behind the door said.

“Who?” Lisa asked.

“Mac Miller, the rapper.”

“We don’t know any Mac Miller.” Selena responded.

“That’s fine… but I just wanted some help… please? I was just wondering where we were and how’d I get here? Lemme in maybe?”

“Fine come in.” Selena sighed as Mac opened the door and walked in.

“Me too” a second voice came from what seemed like out of nowhere.

A dark skinned man with dreads and an accent walked in. He took a look around, slightly confused about his surroundings.

“I don’t know where I’m at either... “ he drifted off. “Oh, and I’m Bob Marley!”

Lisa and Selena sighed to themselves as their new focus was now on the two men in front of them.

Taglist: @lennonwhipped @rogers-flowered-blazer @caviarandqueen @caminc91 @sweet-mother-love @peacelennon

[galacticchaosminion]

A long and stupid rant.

some people in this fandom are really fucking mean and don’t understand that saying terrible shit really can make someone feel even less worthy of love and feel more like a piece of shit than they already do. damn... they know who they are. its happened in the jacksepticeye fandom too. sometimes its easy to feel like i don’t belong anywhere at all.

i mean i have stayed up until 8am since august of 2017 and its become habit. it all started because of some horrible paranoia that really made me seem bat shit crazy.. i still feel so stupid about that.. long story short is i still don’t sleep. i just watch videos and listen to music.. i have such deep insecurities and self hatred towards my body and i all of my teeth are bad..

i tell myself that people would hate my house if they saw it and i lay awake thinking i will just get more fat or my teeth will get worse.. i know it gets better but when?? i don’t want to annoy anyone anymore and i don’t know how to get better. i sound crazy but i am going crazy alone not knowing how to feel better. i don’t wanna think about how people can go their whole life feeling like they accomplished nothing.. I wanna do something productive for once.

i know soon i will be walking one of my dogs but that’s another thing... one of my dogs died on june 9th of 2018 and its been hard because i feel like i just wait until the  next month where its the 9th and i get sadder and sadder. he was the only dog i could take on a walk cuz the others are too big and the other tiny one has bad legs. i will soon try to take one of the big ones when we get a new collar where she cant yank it off and escape.. anyway. its almost the 9th again and i am so sad thinking about how i will just be so sad about him being gone.

i want to be excited for pride month and not sad.. back in may of 2018 i was so excited thinking about pride month and then BAM he died during pride month and i didn’t care about pride anymore.. i was just sad my baby boy was gone forever... i couldn’t get over how no matter how bad i want it i cant just pick him up and cuddle him anymore.. he’s gone forever and i have to get over it.. other night i had a mental breakdown because i was so sad that he is gone and i  knew i was trying to hard to pretend i was fine and better now..

the point of this is i have been getting a shit ton of hate on here and while i am feeling low and down i don’t need hate kicking me the rest of the way down.. i wanna feel like i have a community and people who will show me i am still wanted but sometimes it doesn’t feel worth it because i continue to just feel so bad. i seem to never get over anything though and i don’t want to be a whiny cry baby over everything. i just want everybody to be happy but idk how to stop being so annoying. im sorry guys... i just want to be happy. i never wanted to make you ever regret following me.. i don’t wanna stay awake in bed all night feeling like i am useless and should just stay asleep.. i wanna get up but i don’t and that is so confusing..

anyway.. thanks for reading. if you did.. idk. i just wanted to rant. i know this is probably just annoying so its ok if you don’t. :(

[san--shine]

Question Tag

Tagged by @kpoprunsmylifenow (twice, with this and my main acc. But its fine I will just fo it here and reblog it on my main then :’D)

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 10 people

How tall are you?

I’m 5′2 / 158cm

What color and style is your hair?

It’s mahogany, shoulder length, a bit longer in the front. It’s naturally wavy too. I normally style it half way up with a pin or something in the back or just have them open.

What color are your eyes?

Green-Blue-Gray (it depends on my mood and the light. But mostly green)

Do you wear glasses?

No. Only fake ones if I feel like it

Do you have braces?

Nope

What’s your fashion style?

Uhm. I don’t know how to describe it. Cute and sexy at the same time? Idk :’D

Full name?

Nadja W. (won’t say my full name, it’s the internet guys ^^’)

When were you born?

24th Novemer 1996, at 9:02pm

Where are you from and where do you live?

Im from Germany and the city im living in is quite in the middle I would say

What school(s) do you go to?

I’m at university right now. Studying Math and Biology.

What kind of student are you?

LAZY and PROCRASTINATING. Stressing about deadlines but getting everything done on time. But not the best, I only need what I have to do to not fail ^^

Do you like school?

I hated school until 9th grade. Afterwards it was fine. University is way more stressful even tho you have more “freetime”. But since you have to decide everything yourself its so hard.

Favorite subject?

Math, Education, Psychology

Favorite TV shows?

Game of Thrones, The new adventures: Merlin, Avatar, Dr. Who (does Netflix count? then:) ShadowHunters

Favorite book(s)?

It’s so long ago that I read a book series. My favorite ones are german tho and I forgot the titels (shame on me)

Favorite pastimes?

Reading, singing, drawing, writing

Do you gave any regrets?

Some

Dream job?

Hard one. I still say something with kids because it makes me happy. But maybe not teaching? We will see in a few years.

Would you like to get married?

Someday. Yeah.

Would you like to have children?

Yeah, but not my own probably. I would like to adopt children. Because they deserve a loving home too when they are alone in this world!

If so, how many?

2? I’m not sure

Do you like shopping?

Depends, but more no

What countries have you visited?

Greece (many times, many places), Czech Republic, Austria, Spain, Turkey

Scariest nightmare?

Don’t wanna talk about it

Any enemies?

Don’t think so. Even tho I think some people see me as an enemy? Idk

Do you have a significant other?

Nope

Do you get along with your family?

Not really. It’s complicated

Do you believe in miracles?

Bish YES I DO. Especially after meeting Ateez ^^

How are you?

Hard question. Because actually I’m quite happy. But I’m in sad hours for a while because I feel like I’m bothering the people I love with how happy I am with Ateez. And I’m sorry 

I’m tagging:  Whoever wants to because I’m way to late on this train ^^

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

Kari’s Supernatural Halloween Challenge

Autumn is just around the corner and autumn means Halloween is near too. This challenge is all about the All Hallow’s Eve and the creepy, scary, awesome stuff that comes with it.

The prompts are all quotes from classic or silly horror movies - I listed the movie too in case you wanna draw inspiration from the plot too. You don’t have to at all. You just have to use the dialogue prompt somewhere in the fic. How is up to you. On to the more detailed rules - read carefully!

Due Date: November 9th

Word min: 500 words

Word Max: 5k words

Style: It can be a drabble, one shot or beginning of a series. Do not put in in the middle of an ongoing series since I plan on reading them and don’t want to read 10 parts of something to understand the entry.

Fandom: Just Supernatural this time. List of pairings allowed is under the cut. If you are looking for a Marvel Halloween challenge keep an eye on my sideblog @until-theend-oftheline in the new couple of days. Something will appear over there too - not the same thing though. Different.

Will you read and reblog my fic?

You betcha :D I am behind on reading for previous challenges so patience is a virtue here

Do my fic have to be Halloween themed?

Not necessarily but Bonus points if it is.

When Do I Post?

Between right now and Nov 9th. Sign Ups start now and ends when there are no more prompts

Genre: It has to have some element of angst to it since it is a Halloween challenge but it doesn’t have to be full blown everyone dies angst. It can have a fluffy end. It can have fluffy middle. It can even have smut if you are over 18.

AUs and crack are welcome too as long as you work in something angsty.

Limits on what you can write: No Mommy/daddy kinks, no non/dub con, no A/B/O, no glorification on cheating, no wife or actor hate in rpfs! - if you got any questions at any time feel free to send me an ask. - If AUs no mermaids or mobsters please.

Format: State in your A/N that it is for my (thing-you-do-with-that-thing) Kari’s Supernatural Halloween challenge. And use the # Kari’s Supernatural Halloween challenge in the first 5 tags.

Pairing and word count also have to be easy to spot in your header!

Submit: After you posted on tumblr you have to add yourself and your fic to this doc.  If you don’t do this you will not be added to the masterlist I create when the challenge is over. If you got questions - just ask :D

Doc link it case tumblr is an ass: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19Jop0Do95LVPp5z7IIshrax5_IkKBPjvwBmgcTHAXYw/edit?usp=sharing

How do I join?

You pick a prompt and a pairing off the list. Send me the prompt number along with a backup just in case and your pairing of choice. ASKS ONLY!! REPLIES, REBLOGS AND IMS WILL BE IGNORED!

There are no limits on the pairings but I only allow 2 people per prompt so think before you sign up. If you don’t think you will be doing it then don’t take the spot from someone else. One person can sign up twice but with different pairings. Prompts and Pairings are under the cut!

YOU CAN NOW HAVE AS MANY PROMPTS AS YOU WANT (NO MORE THAN 3 UNCOMPLETED ONES AT A TIME TO ENSURE YOU DON’T OVER DO IT FOR YOURSELVES. AND YOU CAN HAVE REPEAT PAIRINGS AS LONG AS THEY ARE ON THE LIST OR CLEARED BY ME!

Pairings:

No male readers - gender neutral are fine!

General Fics - character or rpf are both fine.

Sister/daughter/romantic/friendship reader pairings for following are all fine - just let me know which:

Jensen

Dean

Misha

Cas

Jared

Sam

Ships (all are allowed as poly with reader too):

Destiel

Deonna

Megstiel

Saileen

Cockles

Jensen x Danneel

Jared x Genevieve

Prompts

1 “That cold ain’t the weather. That’s death approaching.” 30 Days of Night (2007) - @oneshoeshort (Sam x Reader) /

2 “Love means never having to say you’re ugly.” The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

3 “Paradise lost? Found it!” Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)

4 “Supernatural, perhaps; baloney, perhaps not.” The Black Cat (1934)

5  “They’re all gonna laugh at you.”  Carrie (1976) @percywinchester27 (Dean x Reader) /

6 “When there is no room left in hell, the dead will walk the earth.” Dawn of the Dead (1978) @kittenofsarcasm (Megstiel) /

7 “That’s my mother you’re pissing on.” Dead Alive (1992) @impala67trenchcoat (Dean x Reader) /

8 “What an excellent day for an exorcism.” The Exorcist (1973) - @blacktithe7 (Dean x Reader) / @legion1993 (Dean x Reader)

9 “I’m the guy that’s gonna save your ass.” Feast (2005) @danijimenezv (Dean x Reader) /

10 “Be afraid… Be very afraid.” The Fly (1986) @queen-of-deans-booty (Dean x Reader) /

11 “It’s Alive! It’s Alive!” Frankenstein (1931)

12 “I should warn you, princess – the first time tends to get a little messy.” Freddy vs. Jason (2003) - @jessyackles (Jensen x Reader) /

13 “I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly.” Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) @sweetness47 (Dean x Reader) /

14 “Do they look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were vampires! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don’t give a fuck how crazy they are!” From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) @sweetness47 (Sam x Reader) /

15 “We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!” Ghostbusters (1984) @horsegirly99 (Jensen x Reader) /

16 “That’s the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.” - “What a crime.” Ghostbusters (1984) - @abbesolutte (Dean x Reader) /

17 “It’s Halloween, everyone’s entitled to one good scare.” Halloween (1978) @deanna-s-winchester (Dean x Reader) /  @waywardnerd67 (Jensen x Reader)

18 “No tears please, it’s a waste of good suffering.” - Hellraiser (1987) @jdmplusdoublej (Misha x Reader) /

19 “You know that part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid and everyone hates them for it? This is it.” Jeepers Creepers (2001) @rosettastxne (Dean x Reader) / @waywardrose13 (Jensen x Reader)

20 “We don’t need a stretcher in there. We need a mop!” A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

21 ”Don’t shoot yourself. Don’t shoot each other. And especially… don’t shoot me.” Planet Terror (2007) @thatfanficstuff (Cas x Reader) /

22 “I don’t get mad. I bake.” Prom Night III: The Last Kiss (1990) @katymacsupernatural (Jensen x Reader) /

23 “Darling. Light, of my life. I’m not gonna hurt ya. You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I said, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just gonna bash your brains in.”  The Shining (1980) @cassiefanfic (Dean x Reader) /

24 “GET OUT OF YOUR PANTS!” Tremors (1990) - @crispychrissy (Dean x Reader)

25 “In space noone can hear you scream” Alien (1979)

26 “Oh yes. There will be blood” Saw II (2005) @hopes-archer (Jensen x Reader) /

27 “I see dead people” The Sixth Sense (1999) @queen-of-deans-booty (Sam x Reader) /